Monthly Archives: February 2015

The ABC’s of Making Friends.


I have a pretty contented life. I am a fulfilled mom. I have a beautiful partner relationship with a woman that I get to marry in a few months. And, I have interests that keep me engaged in my life, from writing, to traveling, to music and reading. Yet, there is a part of my life that seems to be lacking for several years now, and I am finally summoning up the courage and self awareness to take steps to change it.

I don’t have a whole lot of friends. Sure, on Facebook, I have over 400 friends. And, even though Facebook gets dissed for not being “true” friendships, I have stories in my mind and heart about each one of those friends on my list. We went to college or high school together. I met them through my blogging over the years. We dated in the past. They are my family members.

But the ironic part is, I have very few friends in real life, ones that I spend time with, go out for coffee or wine with. That I share my deep secrets with. My fiancee is my closest and best friend, the best friend that I have ever had, actually. But, I find myself looking for more friend relationships in person, in my daily life to have fun with and get to know better. Yet, at the same time I am looking for that in my life, I am scared out of my mind.

Even though I find social situations fun, I am really scared about meeting and getting to know new people. The reasons are various, including the fear that I will be judged or not liked; that I will have to make known personal parts of myself; or that people won’t find me interesting or fun enough. Pretty funny, right?

So, I decided to face this fear head on, and made plans this week with a new person, a person that I have met a couple of times but would like to get to know better. I am scared at the same time that I am excited for the new adventure. So, as I was anticipating our get together later this evening, I thought of the beautiful simplicity of meeting a new person, and the basics of what it takes to make that happen.

A: Make an ACKNOWLEDGMENT of what it is that I want. Am I looking for companionship? Fun? Someone interesting to talk to? A new adventure? Once I have that in mind, it makes it a bit easier to seek what I am looking for.

B: Be BOLD. Ask. Call someone. Strike up a conversation with a person that seems interesting. Go against all of my fears and just DO IT.

C: CELEBRATE, both myself and another human being with whom I get to interact. I can make it dramatic, as in, this is so hard, or I can have complete fun with the experience, no matter how it turns out. Simple.

My desire is to enjoy this so much, that I just keep doing it and doing it, with new people or people already in my life. Taking the first step of knowing what I want and letting go of my fears is going to get me there.