Monthly Archives: December 2015

Leave it, Change it, Accept it.

GratitudeI have been listening daily to Eckhart Tolle.  For those of you that might not know who he is, he wrote a book several years ago titled “The Power of Now”.  I bought that book on CD a month ago, and have been listening to it in the car almost daily.  The reminders that it brings me about staying in the present moment; not focusing on past or future; and finding my joy and peace are so necessary for me.  The things that I learn get to be put to the test in my daily interactions with others.

 

I have a fear and anxiety that lingers in me when I have to deal with, or should say, think I have to deal with a difficult person or situation.  I either criticize myself for not letting go of past resentments, or blame the other person that I believe is the source of my anxiety.  Then, I go back and forth with both of these options, for a good long while, which only increases my sense of anxiety.  

 

At these times, I like to catapult myself into the past, reminding myself of all of the reasons that I feel justified in holding onto my resentment; and I also project into the future to tell myself the story of what I think might happen, or what I desire to happen.  I am definitely not peaceful at these times, because I am definitely not in the present moment.

 

So, when I am in the midst of a life situation that I find difficult or uncomfortable, if I want to be more conscious, and therefore, more present and peaceful, I have three options for taking care of it.  First, I could change the situation, by changing my behavior and thoughts about it or within it.  My second option is to leave it altogether; walk away from the situation fully.

 

My final option is to accept the situation as it is.  This option, although it is the one that I most prefer to take, seems the most challenging for me.  It means that I must drop any judgments or stories that I have about myself, the situation, and the person involved, and let it be as it is.  Let it Be.

 

The beauty of my choices, is that they are available to me, in every moment.  And, there are always ample opportunities, every day, to put them to the test.  To know that my best is all that is ever necessary, and that peace is here, waiting for me, is indeed a blessing. 

 

 

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Release Brings Relief.

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I got another reminder today, amidst some lessons being learned at a fast pace, that when I am gripped by something, I hang onto it for dear life.  Even though I know that it brings me misery, guilt, resentment or anger, I don’t want to let it go.  Most likely, I don’t want to let it go because I have built some of my identity, my ego around being the victim of others; about the world being a violent, evil place; that I need to save the world from itself because of all the pain and sorrow.  If my identity is dependent on that being the world, my very life depends on hanging onto it.

 

But then, I have a period of time like I had this week, when it seems like the lessons are crystal clear, and I see like no other time before.  Today, I remembered the impact of releasing an old hurt.  
Immediate, sweet relief.

 

After holding onto resentments and old hurts for a long period of time, I have no inkling what the letting go will feel like.  As a matter of fact, it feels like I can’t possibly let go; I am too invested.  I have been holding onto it for so long it is a part of me, it IS me.  Then, I open my hands and my heart and drop it, like a hot coal in my hand.  

 

The relief brings feelings of emotion, such as excitement, and thoughts of freedom, nothing binding me any longer.  When I release, I stop telling myself the story that the world has wronged me, or that I can’t do anything about my feeling miserable.

 

I see my power, my beauty, my light and true essence.  I know that I can tell a story that is full of forgiveness and peace, rather than resentment and hurt.

 

I am free to really shine me.  

 

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Telling the Truth.

ID-100225739I am a truthful person, and keep discovering how telling the truth helps move me forward in my life journey.  Yet today I proved to myself, yet again, that telling the truth is the only way for me to live a meaningful life.

 

While spending time with a friend this afternoon, I told her the truth about something significant and deeply personal going on in my life.  Although I suspected she knew a bit of what I wanted to share with her, I wasn’t sure how much.  I told her, I cried, I felt such relief and joy that the truth was known, fully.  And, I felt like it brought us closer in some ways.

 

In any given moment, on any day at any time, I can choose to conceal my truth from the outside world.  I can do it in minor ways, like saying I am “fine” when really I am hurting inside.  Or, I can do it in more significant ways, like telling a story about myself that isn’t true.  Even though there are variations of lying to others, and ourselves, lies are lies.  They destroy.  They keep us in darkness.  They allow us to play a part in this world that is not authentically who we are.

 

So, telling the truth feels better.  But initially, and even in midstream, it feels super scary.  Will I be judged?  Will this person really understand what it is that I am going through?  Will they still be there with me?  Will I be standing alone in all of this?

 

We all want to be loved for who we really are.  Yet, we are also afraid to tell the truth, and be our authentic selves with one another.  We can’t have it both ways; if we want authenticity, if we want the opportunity to be loved for who we are, then we have to show and tell others who it is that we are.  We have to stand in that truth.  We have to feel certain that no matter what the outside world seems to say about it, that being ourselves is really the only way to be.  

 

It is the pathway to freedom and peace.

 

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