Monthly Archives: June 2019

Rainbows and Glitter.


So, it would seem that most people would know that summer is the season for LGBTQA+ Pride, especially, the month of June. Fifty years ago, in June 28, 1969, a group of brave humans stood up the the police and the public, in Greenwich Village, NYC, to be treated fairly and equally. The establishment is Stonewall. And, the rest is history. Gay history. 


I have been out as a lesbian, to friends, family, and the general public, for more than 35 years now. It has been a journey, that is for sure, one that has included self loathing, shame, and believing that there might be something wrong with me because I loved women. Yet, I persevered, I have been fiercely authentic as myself for many years now, and I love to model that for others also.



Long after my own coming out, my son had his own version of coming out that was in store for him. It was painful and confusing at times, for all of us. Yet, it shifted something in me on a deep level, that helped me to understand that we all just want to be loved for who we know ourselves to be. It is that simple, and yet as humans, we make it so complicated and difficult.


As I stood out in the oppressive heat today, holding my arms open and offering hugs for any and all that wanted, or needed them, I felt humbled. I felt emotional. I felt so sure that I was right where I needed to be. And, even though I didn’t hear a lot of stories, of rejection and heartache that others have experienced, I felt the connection from one human soul to the next, as we held one another and squeezed.


I have attended more Pride events this summer than in my entire adult life, and what I can say is, beyond how fulfilling it is to give a hug to a person that really needs one, and is willing to give it to themselves, it is a completely awe inspiring experience, to watch humans of all ages come to an event and feel free to be themselves. To express it, loudly or softly, and to know that they finally can just BE. Today, at the very end of the day, I had a young person cry in my arms, and me along with them, about how grateful that they were that Free Mom Hugs was there, offering hugs and hope to anyone who needed it.


And, my beautiful, loving son, came with his own sign, to show support, love, and connection with so many that took him up on his offer. It was so lovely to watch. I am in tears as I write this, so grateful that I have stepped upon this purposeful path; so overwhelmed with how it is needed and received; and so humbled by all of the souls that are now joining me on the journey.  I came home with a rainbow necklace, and with my arms covered in glitter. 


It was a very good day.  

Standing Out.


Unless you have only recently come to meet me, or know what it is I do or who I am, then you know about how much I love hugs. I love getting them, yes, but I am completely addicted to giving them. There have been some pretty memorable ones of the hundreds I have given over the years, and every time I step out, another hugging human blows my doors off. 




And, I have enjoyed having it be my “deal”. When I meet people they will tell me that they know I am the Hug Lady, or recollect that they have hugged me before. For my Ego, moments like that are like winning lottery ticket:  I am important. I am memorable. I stand out. And, that feeds me for a while in and of itself.  However, what also seems to happen is that I start to feel resentful about the recognition others receive for hugging; that seem to stand out more than I do. I get jealous and I want to separate. I want to stand out MORE than ever. My Ego is a sneaky sucker. 


So, about a year ago, by circumstances around my love of hugs, I was told about and started reading about Free Mom Hugs, and its founder, Sara Cunningham. I was blown away, and was so inspired that there seemed to be an actual movement, with national momentum. It was all that I dreamed of. For myself, of course!  I mean, I am only keeping it real here.


And, when I have hugged with them, and been representing them, I wanted then to be the Free Mom Hugs presence that would be the stand out; that would be more memorable than anyone else. My Ego loves attempting to solidify its position wherever it can. And, I fall for it, every time.




But, in the last couple of days, instead of that being the story that I choose to believe in my runaway train of a mind, I looked at what is happening, with Free Mom Hugs and beyond. Humans are showing up for each other again. Love is being projected and people are hugging one another. And, there is room for everyone. Shit, it is the dream of a lifetime, dozens, hundreds, thousands, MILLIONS of humans hugging each other. At pride, on the street, at festivals and rallies. Just hugging. Just loving one another. Seeing and being seen by one another.
And, honestly, that means no one has to stand out, because everyone does.