I attended a family event yesterday, where many members of my family of origin were present, that no longer speak to me. For one reason or another, although the reason no longer matters, things became estranged, and reconciliation, in the form sense, never occurred. I had a strong desire to be in attendance, and also felt fear at what might, or might not occur.
And, it unfolded in a pretty predictable fashion. I sat separately from many other family members. I danced. I ate good food. I spent time with those that invite me in. I shone my light over and over again. Yet, I was scared, in many moments yesterday, and even this morning, to accept the Now, and to allow things to be as they are.
It can be so easy to hold onto what we think we knew as a previous “truth”, or to project into the future what we want or anticipate things to look like. The only real, obvious Truth that I know, and continue to resist at times, is that Now is All There Is. Ever. And, that is not some fanciful, far out Truth that is not available to any one of us. At any moment, any time, we each get to choose to drop our beliefs, notions, memories, and expectations, and Be Here Now. And, I always get to choose that, whether those around me are choosing it or not.
The stories that I carry around from my life up until now can seem so real to me at times, about what is really happening. And, when I take a breath, and really just quiet my monkey mind, there is so much more there waiting for me than the story that I think is the truth, of how things were or how I want them to be. For as long as there is breath in my lungs, I will be here in the physical form realm, navigating my way through in the best way that I can. Yet, this physical form realm is not the deepest truth that I have available to me, and form always reminds me of that, as much as it reminds me of the stories that I still hold onto at times.
So I cry. And I resist. And I allow the Truth of the Now to flow through me instead, eventually. Sometimes, it takes longer than other times. But I always get there. I always choose Peace. I always remember what is real. I always let go of my beliefs in honor of what feels good.
I drop the illusion for the beauty of Now.