Tag Archives: believing

How About A Hug? Part 3: Give your arms a Rest.

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When I decided that I would spend an evening hugging persons blindfolded, I had no idea what my level of energy and stamina would be. I had a hunch that I would feel completely invigorated physically, because of the excitement within me around the project. And, to some degree, I was correct in that.

However, there were periods of time that I was holding my arms up for awhile, and they would get tired. I would lower them for a few seconds, stretching them out, and then put them up again.

But, something really interesting happened along the way, and it happened a couple of times before I realized it. Even when my arms would get tired, as soon as a person would come up to me for a hug, and I would wrap my arms around them tightly, after they would walk away, my arms would not be tired anymore. If anything, they felt well rested and light.

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Now, some of that relief was bound to happen, because in one sense, I was putting my arms down, and resting them on another person. Yet, my muscles within my arms were tense and strong when I would hug the person, and the rest would literally only be for a few seconds. So, I feel sure that the energized feeling my arms would experience were directly related to the experience itself, my own opening of my heart.

At one point, I had a person come by, who told me as she hugged me that she had hugged me earlier, and came by for a second one. Then, she went on to tell me, that her purpose was to help me to relax.

She told me after giving me a second, beautiful hug, to give my arms a rest. Her voice was gentle, kind and compassionate. And, her words went right to my heart. Right to the core of me, and was yet another confirmation of why this project felt so fulfilling to me.

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To be offering a gift to the world around me, with little anticipation of what would happen, and little ability to see what would happen, was opening my heart plenty. But, to then receive from a person, in such a genuine way, was to understand that my offering was how I was to deeply receive.

My life is so full of magic, wonder and peace. And, that continues to expand every day. Yet, to be in that small chunk of time, and encounter so many miracles of humanity, has exponentially increased my awareness and deep appreciation for the humans in the world around me. Even when we are so bombarded with how messed up this world is, there is kindness and love at every turn.

What a miracle.

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I’m not mad at God.

A close friend of mine died this week. I have been friends with his mother for twenty three years, and I have watched him grow up, since he entered her life at less than two years old. This week, he let go and crossed over.

When I first found out, I felt stunned, in shock, numb in a way. For a few minutes, I didn’t know what I felt. I felt everything and nothing at the same time.

After I recovered from the initial impact, I started praying.

This is interesting for me, because I haven’t always turned to my faith when I was seeking answers, or expressing gratitude for my blessings. I have taken for granted that certain situations and persons would be in my life, and that humans were at work for having things be as they were. Not so, as I am finding out.

I am growing as a spiritual being, and in that growth, I have figured out that I don’t have to get mad at God, when things turn out badly. I have a history of getting really mad at God, especially when I believed that God was responsible for taking someone away from me, when a loved one dies. I would scream out, in my mind and my heart, “WHY?” It was always dramatic, and disconcerting. Because, I usually didn’t get an answer with which I was satisfied.

Today, my faith and spiritual self feels different. I feel present to my life. I feel a deep awareness of how small I am, in the whole scheme of things. How no matter what, I have so much to be grateful for, to appreciate in my life, in every, single moment that I am given on this earth.

I don’t like to feel out of control, and admit my powerlessness in my own life. Yesterday, I got really present to that powerlessness. I felt sadness, I felt loss, but I didn’t feel angry. Instead, I expressed my gratitude, for those that are in my life, for having them still with me, for as long as that might be. I expressed thankfulness for knowing my dear friend, and having him in my life for twenty two glorious years.

I felt God with me, watching over me, and comforting me.

And, it brought me great peace.

What I intend.

The power of intention is truly amazing to me. I mean, it has shown itself to work in my life many times over now. Yet, I continue to doubt it at times, and act like the things that work for me are just random, happenstance.

Not true at all.

Intention is so powerful, because it is us putting our energies, efforts, thoughts and heart in the direction of what it is that we want to see for ourselves. For me, I have done this in terms of my body, my career, and my love relationships. By getting crystal clear about what it is that I want to have in my life, I create it.

Now, it isn’t to say that it means, wishing on a star and then waiting for it. You have to really want it, I mean, more than anything. And, you have to know and believe that you are fully ready for it. So, if I were to intend making a million dollars in the next six months, chances are, it won’t happen for me. Not because of the amount, but because of the fact that I am sitting here, not really believing in the magic of that.

What I did believe in, just a few short weeks ago, was the magic of new love in my life. I had been toying around with the idea of another relationship, for a few months now. However, I was still hanging onto what might be, I was unsure, I was scared to move forward, and totally scared that I would not find the right person for me.

However, just last month, I knew one day that I was ready. I had written out my relationship dream, and I believed that I could actually have it.

And, then what happened? The dream came true.

There is great importance in being clear in what it is that we want to have in our lives, for sure. But, if we don’t believe in it, or believe that we may actually get to have it, that is us sending it in the other direction, away from us. To bring our dreams to fruition, and into our lives, we have to vision it, and fully believe in it.

And, believe me, it works.

Having Radical Faith.

This week was a week that was a struggle. Much of it was self imposed struggle, but nonetheless, it felt heavy and difficult much of the time. I was tired. I was discouraged. I was sad. Many circumstances in my life currently, and much of the thoughts in my own head, kept me in a funk and only periods of time when I felt pretty balanced.

So, I started thinking about faith, radical faith. Just as I spoke about radical truth, I also was thinking about radical faith this week. To me, Radical Faith is the presence of a belief in yourself, and in a Higher Power, that all will be well. Through the combination of my own efforts and design, and what Great Spirit has in store for me, I started believing more deeply that all will be well.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I believe that my life just needs to be easy breezy, with no challenges or room for difficulty. I know that I am going to encounter challenges in my life; I am in the midst of some right now. And, I am not asking for a reprieve from those challenges. I actually frame them in a perspective of gratitude, gratitude for the struggles, for in my deepest struggles, I grow well beyond what I believed.

What I am looking for is a deep, profound connection with a belief in hope, in a belief that all will be well through my efforts and through being watched over and guided. Faith. Radical Faith. What makes it so radical for me is that I have rarely let go of controlling my surroundings long enough to let go. Radical Faith means letting go of what is not mine to handle, and trusting that it will be taken care of as it should. And, that I will always be watched over, protected and loved.

This is not such a stretch for me anymore. I am feeling more connected and a part of something bigger than myself than ever before. Yet, when I get discouraged, or feel overwhelmed, I stay in my own head and believe that I need to take on the world by myself.

So, I am learning more deeply, that to have Radical Faith means to trust that I will be cared for, that all will be well, and that I can trust myself, too.

Being willing

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The more that I explore who I really am and what has brought me to this particular point in my life, the more that I discover ways of thinking that I believe will guide throughout the rest of my life, in a wise and profound way. One of those theories about my life is the process of being willing.

I have often heard the slogan of a person being “ready, willing, and able”. It always seemed to make sense to me. However, I think for my purposes, it needs to be that we have a willingness first. I don’t know if the slogan refers to a readiness coming first, or if we have all three at once. However, in real life, I see them each as separate entities.

On any given day, I possess a readiness to get a new job; lose ten pounds; or make more money. I would even venture to say that I am able to do any and all of those things at any time, even at this very moment. However, if there is not a willingness present, then the rest is not possible.

I believe that the willingness is the most important part of this equation. A willingness for me to believe in my own capability. A willingness to learn the lessons that are being given to me. A willingness to ask for help if I am struggling or in pain. If willingness is not present and strong, it really doesn’t matter that standing here, I am ready and able. I have to turn it over and be willing for the greatness to come.

As I have been pondering this theory, I have found for myself the deep connection for me between willingness and having faith. Willingness to me, means that I am turning something over, letting go of fears and hesitation, and giving myself up to something. A surrendering of sorts. That is what being willing means. So, this is a profound connection for me to make, as I continue on my journey to define faith for myself and finding who I am spiritually. This piece of the puzzle will take me far.

So, I know in this moment, I am ready, and able for just about anything. As I go forward into my life, I will continue to strengthen my willingness to make magic and design brilliance.