Tag Archives: hope

Looking Up.

img_0159

 

The autumn is settling in here in our home in Northeastern Pennsylvania.  There is a chill in the air that lingers past noon; and then the warmth of the sun penetrates the cold and fills me up.  I love being outdoors much of the time, but Fall is one of my favorite times.  An extra layer, a hat, and feeling cozy.  I really enjoy and appreciate the change of the season.

 

I have been appreciating a lot of change in my life lately.  As a writer, and as a lover of other people’s writing, I would often, in the past, want my writing to primarily be relatable to others, and so would be what I would write.  I would also relate closely to what others would writer, so when I read other writers’ blogs, I would tend to follow the ones that spoke to me in some direct way, either through their experiences, or feelings about those experiences.  Reminding me of something in my own life, perhaps. 

 

Yet lately, I have been sensing a change, a change in perspective, over the last couple of weeks in particular.  As I have been appreciating and embracing my own, unique writer’s voice more deeply, I have had a more genuine appreciation for all of the unique writers’ voices that I have been reading.  I have expanded my willingness to see life from a variety of perspectives.  This has opened up to me to the realization, thank goodness, of every person’s story being of worth and purpose.  It has reminded me that it is always refreshing, and fun, to see things from a new perspective.  

 

img_7620

 

I’ve been so afraid of that in my life at times, to see a different point of view.  I mean, if I look at the world in a different way than I have before, won’t something go wrong?  Doesn’t that dismiss anything that I have believed before?  I understand now that the answers to my fearful questions is no, and that I am ready to appreciate, and celebrate, all of the unique manifestations of our Universal selves, in all their varied forms.  And, looking at something from a different perspective isn’t a dismissal of what I already know, nor does it threaten it in any way.  It is just different, plain and simple.

 

img_7621

 

I headed out with my camera yesterday, my other, brilliant instrument of expression, and instead of viewing my world only horizontally, I looked up.  What a brilliant, amazing new perspective!  And, what beauty was waiting there for me.  I only ever need to look at the world, just a bit differently, just change my view ever so slightly, to see the awe and wonder that lives there.  It is astounding.

 

img_7635img_7681

Advertisements

To Be a Writer.

IMG_7404

 

A couple of weeks ago, I decided after much consideration that I would sign up for and take a seven week writers course.  The course is being offered through The Shift Network, which offers amazing on line programs related to self discovery and improvement, as well as connection to others in the world.  The writing course is being led by an author who I have enjoyed in the past, SARK, whose creativity and words I have admired. It is being co led by Scott Mills, whose energy is also dynamic and soft.  I have already had my first session, with many other persons from literally, around the world, and I think I will be in for a treat as it goes forward.

 

It took much consideration for me to take the course, for many of the reasons that create blockages in my writing.  First of all, I worried that I was not a good enough writer, that there would be so many other great writers on the call, including the facilitators, that I would feel inadequate and self conscious at what I would bring to the table.  Also, I often diminish the type of writing that I do as not being “real” writing; I write a blog, I write about life, emotions, and human experience.  “Real” writers write novels, biographies, and the like.  The last reason that I almost said no to the course was because of the money.  Although it is really affordable, especially for whom is leading it, and all of the benefits I will receive from it, I saw that as an obstacle, that didn’t really exist.  However, I plowed through all of that, and said a powerful, YES.

 

The biggest reason that I hesitated in taking the course, and the biggest reason why I said I MUST take the course, is that I have often not described myself as a writer.  I would say to people that I enjoy writing, like a hobby that I find time for here and there.  To say that I am a writer seems like a lie.  I don’t write on a full time basis; I don’t get paid for my writing; I haven’t published any books yet (although I have been published in a chapter book in the past); I don’t make time always for my writing by being on a schedule with it.  All of these excuses I use to not call myself what I actually am.  And, not calling myself a writer is the least of it; I don’t SEE myself as a writer when I am having these thoughts of diminishment and self deprecation.

 

The real, loving truth is, is that I AM a writer.  I AM a person who puts to paper, or to computer screen, ideas and things that scare me, excite me, and help me.  I talk about love, grief, compassion, judgment and fear.  I tell stories of things that I have experienced in my life, and the experiences of others that I have known in my world.  And, I AM a writer, who wants to keep writing, keep growing, keep projecting my words and my thoughts out into the world, for healing, for connection, for love and for Life.  

 

The kicker is, all of the other persons that I have met through this workshop so far, including our facilitators, all have the same fears; of not being enough; of not making enough time for our writing; of others being better than ourselves. Yet, we each have our own, unique version of how we see the world, and that makes whatever we have to say valuable and worthy of the page.  There is so much comfort, connection and love in that.

 

As a true writer and lover of words, I can’t wait to see how this story unfolds.

IMG_7423

Deep Gratitude.

11393333_10153931728253136_2501382908120928316_o

Yesterday was my birthday.  I am officially 54 years old, which is really a misnomer, because I feel 54 years young, as corny as that may sound.  I feel amazing.  My life is amazing.  And, I feel more blessed than I have ever realized in my life before now.  

 

At various times in my life, I have practiced gratitude daily for myself, and what that looked like in the past, was writing down each day what I was grateful for, in the morning before I would start getting ready for work.  I also would wear a bracelet, and count my blessings literally on the beads of the bracelet.  It was always a great way to start in the morning, before the hustle and rush of the world set in.  

 

Lately, I began the practice again, but not by writing down what I am grateful for.  During my morning walk, I think about all of the things and persons that I am grateful for in my world.  I find so many things to be deeply grateful for, because I am surrounded with gifts in so many ways.  

 

photo (1)

A birthday on Facebook is hard to beat; I got dozens of birthday greetings, all lovely and caring, and celebratory.  I felt the love from every single person that wished me well.  It was really beautiful.  And, I felt grateful, for all of the persons in my life, and what a gift it is to have family and friends that surround me, at all different times in my world.  Then, last evening, I saw this beautiful message from my wife, in honor of my birthday, after an evening she had planned for me of fun and surprises.

 

I felt grateful for having us meet one another in the world, to walk this path together with a partner who supports me, and I support as well, and who I have fun with, travel with, and learn new things with.  It really is a blessing.  

 

I feel such deep gratitude for my son, and the relationship that I have built with him over the last few years, more deep than ever before.  And, as he begins this new phase of his life, it is also a new phase of mine, and that we get to share that with one another in love, friendship and support is a joy.  I am so grateful that he is in my world.

 

photo (2)

 

I am so grateful for a strong, capable body, that carries me every day to my walks, to take out the trash, that does anything that I ask of it; and is sustaining me in healthy, loving ways.  I am grateful for the lovely home that I share with my wife, that keeps us safe and warm and cared for.  I am so grateful for being in nature, and seeing her sights and hearing her sounds outside my window every single day.  It is a gift to be able to live in and appreciate her beauty.

 

I have had challenges in my life, and I will continue to face them as life goes on for me. Yet, I find myself in joy the majority of the time, and I know that to be in a large part, because of Gratitude.  No matter what is happening with me or around me, Gratitude can always put things in perspective, by reminding me what I have that I am grateful for.

 

Reminding me of all of the gifts in my world.  

 

What are you waiting for?

photo (64)

 

About three weeks ago, my wife and I watched a documentary that changed our lives.  Now, I live a pretty happy life; I feel contented, purposeful, healthy, and happy.  I feel pretty fulfilled in most realms.  Yet, the sense of excitement for me, in terms of my living my dream, had diminished a bit.  I needed to spark it up again, and not just be going through the motions.

 

The documentary is on Netflix, entitled, “I am not your Guru”; and it is about Tony Robbins, who has been conducting workshops and publishing books for 25 years about living a more fulfilling life.  He is amazing.  I remember 25 years or so ago, a person that I knew buying his audio cassettes, entitled Personal Power, that were meant to be listened to on a daily basis to get you motivated to make a change, or several changes, in your life.  The film is extraordinary.

 

Now, I have been a life coach in training.  I have been in coaching, and in therapy.  I have read motivational books for years, and gotten better and better at knowing what I want in the world, and manifesting it through action.  Yet, watching him work with people at a workshop he conducts once a year in Florida, brought me to tears several times.  He goes right for the jugular; why are you not going after what you want?  What are you waiting for?

 

I have been thinking about and changing my course every day since watching that.  You see, I do a lot of low level dream realization; starting books, writing affirmations, reading, speaking to others, and soul searching about what I really want.  But I don’t always finish what I start.  I have three or four books on this very computer that I have never finished; one that I have finished, and edited already two or three times, but never carried through to publication!  I stop myself at every turn, and why do I do that?

 

FEAR, plain and simple.  Fear can easily talk me out of anything that I set my sights on, at least I think that it can.  I watched that documentary, and I started to make changes that remind me that I always get to talk back to that fear, back to that voice in my head that doubts and creates hesitancy in my action.  

 

Every day, I take purposeful action toward my dream.  What is my dream?  Well, if hugging other people could be a paid gig, it would be that.  And, I know it will include connecting with others through hugging.  What I can say about it, is that my dream is seeing people as capable; strong; free; and desiring change for themselves.  I see everyone as desiring connection, even though they say that they don’t.  And why do we say we don’t want to belong or connect with others?

 

FEAR.  It is the culprit every time.  

 

So I write every day.  I send out positive texts to a list of friends to inspire them.  I give hugs to others as often as possible.  I work on my book.  I get up right out of bed in the morning, greeting the day, walking or jumping on my mini trampoline.  I remind myself that I can do ANYTHING, putting notes on my desk at work or stating them as incantations.  I believe in the dream, and know it will come true.  I feel it.

 

I don’t yet know what the manifestation is going to look like, but the journey has been amazing.  I have brought excitement and magic back into my world, and my energy level is phenomenal.  I am wide awake for my life and all that it brings.

 

Whatever you think is stopping you, remember this minute that it isn’t true.  You can live your dream.  You can be contented and peaceful.  You can be fulfilled in whatever way you desire.
What are you waiting for???????

 

IMG_2770

How to Help Others.

IMG_2770.JPG

 

Since I was a young person, maybe nine or ten, I wanted to grow up to make a difference in the world.  For me, I decided to create that difference by studying to be a social worker.  Social workers were tireless beings in the world that helped those that could not help themselves.  From social work, I evolved into becoming a therapist.  I had a strong belief that there were so many problems and needs in the world, and that my being a helper, in the form of therapy, social work, or care management, was my best way to impact on those needs.

 

This has been my belief, until very recently.

 

Recently, I have been doing some significant soul searching.  Now, when I search my soul, in the past, I would always want to find out the why of the doing of something; so, if my relationships that I sought were negative or non communicative, I would want to trace back in my history as to why I would choose that.  Who was responsible for my current actions.  What I understand now, is that I always get to choose; and that anything that I was ever taught along the line, from anyone, was just a person telling me what they thought might work best for me in the world.

 

Soul searching for me now, means that I don’t have to find out the why; all I want to do is learn how to be more peaceful, present, and forgiving.  That to really be in my life, I must do all of these things, as often as possible.  So, I am discovering that I do not want to help the world anymore, in the ways I have educated myself to do so.

 

I don’t want to be a therapist.  I don’t want to be a counselor.  Or a social worker.  Or a clinician.  I want to simply join with people, make connections to other human beings, and make our connections meaningful in the moment.  Not feel the need to heal or fix the other person.  Just be with them, presently, and in full awareness.  My hugs help me to do that every time I give one.  It is the closest I have ever come to true, meaningful connection with a stranger.

 

This may not make sense to you, but I have come to understand that wanting to help others, for me, is no longer noble and kind, but arrogant.  The way that I always tried to help others, was to create a situation where they needed me to solve their problems for them.  Or at least, tell them how to solve it themselves.  I rarely saw them as being capable to solve their own problems, without my part in it.  I am not judging myself for that, I am just observing the truth.

 

It feels so much more simple now.  If I merely want to connect with others, not try to fix or “help” them, then I need to see them as strong.  See them as capable.  Connect with them on a deeply human level.  See our sameness.

 

And, for now, if hugs are the way to get there, so be it.  I have no idea what that will manifest as in the future, but all that matters is right here and now.

 

photo (64)