Tag Archives: inner peace

Seagull Island.

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During my walk this morning, and for many mornings this winter, I have noticed a flock of seagulls that hang around at the lake. Now that the weather is turning colder, and ice is beginning to form on parts of the lake, when they gather there, in the center, it looks like an island of sorts where they sit. They are huddled together and occasionally fly away. I often find myself wondering, why are they here? Where did they come from? Why in the winter would they settle on our local, homegrown lake?

 

As I wondered on that, I also wondered, on why I ask why. When I am asking why, about a situation or a person, it is most often because I feel scared. I might feel scared about why someone I love is upset with me, because that means, our relationship, in the way that I am viewing it, has changed. I might feel scared because I don’t know what is going to happen next, so I feel less secure about my life and where it is going. I might feel scared if I don’t understand the why of something, because that means I am not as wise as I might of thought, so I give myself room to judge and criticize myself.

 

For me, any why or wondering question comes from a place of fear. Even about seagulls on a lake, you ask? Yes. When I am wondering why something is the way that it is, I am afraid of something. Afraid of what I think I already know from the past. Afraid of what might happen in the future. Afraid to just let the present moment Be as It Is. You see, when I am coming from a fearful place, if I let the present moment be, then I feel as if I am letting go of control. And, when I am afraid, if I am not in control, that is terrifying. 

 

Maybe being in control doesn’t sound like a problem to many of you, especially if you are a control freak like I am. However, I can attest to the fact that it certainly is not a peaceful place to come from. Not at all. When I am in control, or needing to know the hows and whys of every little detail in my life, I am certainly not feeling at ease. I am feeling tense, and always waiting for the next thing that is about to happen. 

 

The deepest lessons of my life are occurring right now, and those are about how to bring Peace more consistently and deeply into my world. And, the beauty is, I don’t have to do anything special for that to happen; not at all. I just have to be in my world, without questions or judgments or rules. I can just let the world Be as It Is. Let Go of what I think it should be. Breathe deeply and take in what is happening Right Now.

 

Today, the seagulls on my homegrown lake are a great lesson in Presence, because instead of wondering why they are there, I get to watch them dance on the water, hear them communicate with one another, and appreciate their beauty and unique nature. I get to just Be with them, in this very moment.  After all, the Present Moment is all that there ever Is.

 

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The Truth.

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There is a truth that exists that is designed to set us all free from our beliefs and madness.  It is not a truth that needs to be proven, as it is universal for all.  It is not a truth that can easily be described with words.  It can only be felt.  My words here attempt to come close to what I believe and feel it to mean.

 

Self care, self love, begins with a gentle spirit.  With a soft, still voice that speaks almost in a whisper.  It gently brushes my being like a breeze on my cheek.  It does not apologize or stammer about what it inspires, or where it comes from within us.  It softly reminds us of our own beauty and worth.  

 

It is the light within us that is always there, always burning, yet at times it is as if our eyes are closed, so we cannot see it.  Or as if our ears are covered with our own hands, so we do not hear it.  Yet, it keeps gently whispering to us, unhindered by a lack of response.  We are created, we are born from, a light that is eternal and infinite.  It is pure love, forgiveness, peace.  

 

It is always waiting for us to return, at least in recognizing its presence.  Its presence reminds me of my own light and innocence, that so many days I forget out of my own ego amnesia.  

 

I am light.

I am love.  

I am innocent, beautiful and free.  

 

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Karma Yoga.

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Reading Eckhart Tolle, or listening to him while I ride in my car, always brings me such insight and revelation.  It seems like even though I have listened to the audiobook a few times through now, each time I hear something new and different.  This week has been no exception.

 

This week was a particularly powerful one in terms of cracking open some old, closed off beliefs and letting them go.  I feel so expanded from where I was just a few days ago, and therefore the light that I am allowing to pour in, and out of me, is extraordinary.  One of the powerful thoughts for me this week was about letting go of outcomes.

 

I have grown up as a human being believing deeply in how things will turn out for me.  That seems most common around expectations, when I have a belief that I want a person to act in a certain way, and my almost assured disappointment every time, because the person does not live up to my expectations.  I set up that person, and myself, every single time.  However, the other area that is an expanded version of personal expectations, is having a dream or goal in my future and doing what I think I need to do to work toward that dream or goal.

 

The problem isn’t in the dream or goal itself, mind you.  It is perfectly okay to desire to have something come into your life and to aspire to it, or at least, get excited about it.  The problem for me is in living out my moments as merely steps to that goal, doing things just for the outcome.  For me to view the work that I do merely as a means to an end- whether that be for the weekend, the paycheck or both- makes it not very fulfilling and pretty tedious.  So, my focus has been on NOT focusing on the fruits of my labor.

 

In his book “The Power of Now”, Eckhart Tolle talks about the saying “karma yoga”, which means, to be in the moment, and live your life, without regard for the outcome.  In other words, to live your life without being focused on the goal, the fruits of your labor.  To just live your life as is, in every moment, as fully as possible.  And, because of that presence, the “fruits” will come of their own accord.  Great stuff, but challenging for me on most days.

 

Yet, I have to say, it brings pure satisfaction to my life.  On the days, and in the moments, in which I am as present as possible, rather than in it in order to get somewhere else, I feel so satisfied.  When I meet with a client out in the community, and I listen to them as a fellow human being, and not as a mental health diagnosis that I have to “help” or “fix”, I feel so inspired and hopeful.  When I keep releasing myself from guilt about not doing this or that, as planned, I have more fun and embrace my spontaneity.  I love myself more deeply and judge myself, and others, less.

 

Of course, I get lots of opportunities to practice, every single day.  And it is not about perfection.   Yet the results that I keep getting, just by remembering as often as possible, to be present, and to catch and accept when I am not, are astounding.  I feel so much more alive, connected to those around me.  I can’t see what happens next.

 

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My Rules for Life.

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I have been a writer the majority of my life.  Whether I was writing stories, papers, or my blog, it has been an integral part of my life forever.  This past summer, I started writing in a journal, every day, which I had not done in many years.  I am still writing in it daily, and over the last few months have jotted down ideas that I had thought of, or read about, that seem to be the template from which I view life these days.  I am calling them my rules for life.  

 

  1.  The past does not matter; every moment is a new beginning.
  2. You know your path.
  3. You know who you really are.
  4. You will keep awakening.
  5. Be in the moment.
  6. Pay attention- signs are all around you.
  7. Stay open.
  8. Dig your own well; you have the tools, freedom, choice.
  9. You are NOT a victim.
  10. Keep creating; the possibilities are endless.
  11. Guilt serves no good purpose.
  12. Our thought processes are in our control and can ALWAYS  be changed.
  13. Be abundant with forgiving yourself; see your true beauty and innocence.
  14. Love yourself as deeply as you can; when you can look upon yourself with eyes of love, you can love others more easily for who they are as well.
  15. Guilt is at the root of all that kills- body, mind, soul and spirit.
  16. Every encounter is a gathering of wisdom.
  17. Trust your inner knowing- that is your spiritual path.
  18. Express gratitude for what you have every day.
  19. Be impeccable with your word.
  20. Do not take others and the world personally.
  21. Don’t assume.
  22. Always do your best.
  23. In the forgetting, I get to keep awakening.
  24. Shine your light, without apology or self consciousness, without comparing it to others.
  25. We are all part of the same light, the same source.

Warning: All Structures are Unstable.

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I continue to have insights the more that I read, or listen, to Eckhart Tolle. His words do much to remind me of staying in the present moment, and the benefit of leaving things as they are, without judgment. It helps me through days that seem difficult.

Most recently, I also was reminded while listening about the truth of impermanence. There is nothing permanent here. He told a story of walking with a friend in the woods, and coming across a building with the sign “Warning: All Structures are Unstable”. It certainly spoke of the building that they observed there, but also to something deeper as well; that we all are of a temporary nature.

Whether we are talking about our own eventual death, a conflict with someone that we care about, about our current financial state or any other situation that brings about upset feelings in us. All structures are unstable, impermanent, only here for a brief time. We seek and seek and we never find, because we are looking for something, or someone, that fills the void that we think is our lives.

The truth is, if all is impermanent, and all structures truly unstable, than all we can do is accept things as they are, and live fully in the present moment. Doing so is not always easy, mind you. I must remind myself many times daily about what I need to do in order to be at peace and remember that this moment is all that I ever have.

There is so much in our world that tries to show us otherwise; that we can live on and on, that health or beauty or money or belongings can last almost infinitely. And, realizing and remembering the real truth is not discouraging for me, but enlightening. If I remember the truth of only having this very moment, and that all things are impermanent, unstable and almost fleeting, my appreciation for them deepens.

I have come to have greater respect and love for those things and people in my life that are important to me, because I know that it could be just for today, just for this moment. I know that all I have is right now, and I want to make the most of it, while I am in this world and living in this beautiful dream. I want to savor every moment.

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